Review

I dunno who else suffers from this when they are 36, but when you live wit your parents they tend to make a big deal outa nuttin. Today’s topic…birthdays, now listen, all I know is that they both have these in da same month. So in my infinite wisdom, I decided to take my two elder roommates out to dinner on the same night. My best shot of dodging the bill, my old man. He still gets his comps from da casino and there’s always a 50/50 shot he will kick up for a meal or two. As I see it, a free ride to Atlantic City and a free meal…almost feels like my birthday! So I talked to my boy across the river, Jimmy “Mullet” he said dat Ceasars down there has a badass pier for restaurants and whatever. Besides, I needed a new leather jeff cap. ‘The Pier’ used to be the old Ocean One Mall, Ceasars bought it, and now it connects into the casino. Da totally renovated pier accomplished what da Ocean One couldn’t…style. For a well know Philly personality such as myself it really means alot when a place takes it to the next level. Anyways, on da way down my father kept griping about how hungry he was and how my ma wouldn’t let him eat all day. Somehow the conversation quickly turned into my father’s 101 reasons why betting on horses aint a career. We got to the casino and startin lookin for da closest restaurant. Well my pops starts going his own way goes searching for a pretzel or a sandwich or sumtin like it was da Holy Grail. At one point he started heading into some bar lookin for beer nuts. It literally was like he was on a deserted island or something. I had to drag that prick out on three separate occasions to finally get him near the closest restaurant. All the while my ma is bitchin about how much of an embarrassment he is and how he can’t leave da neighborhood. We decided to take on Sonsie and throw food at an already stressful situation. Soon as I sat down in dis joint I knew I was in trendy restaurant hell. Not my kinda spot. In a restaurant where the furniture is nicer than mine, I start to think ‘how am I gonna beat dis check’. Besides da décor, Sonsie has over 300 wines, which is really impressive for a joint that caters to a younger crowd. We gota bottle of red to start, stuffed a piece of bread in my father’s mouth and start to look over the menu. Their selection was pretty solid with a nice compliment between seafood and beef. Most of da menu was straight up, but there was a few questionable calls that made even Paris Hilton grimace. Like what are ‘cashel blue cheese fries‘ cuz? Whose is gonna eat that? I don’t even know what a cashel is. Anyways, this hot shot waitress comes over to take our order. After a couple rounds of family infighting this waiter ups my bill $50 in like 15 seconds. Quicker then Philles blew da playoffs, dis waiter upgraded his 9oz Filet Mignon to a 42oz Porterhouse. The nerve of this guy, on the night I am buying. I could think of more than a few ways on how I wanted to straighten this waiter and my old man out. Pops wasn’t going to show me up in my on my home turf. So I did the only thing any self-respecting overeater does…so I ordered 42oz for myself. Two porterhouses….two men…one meal. Lemme tell ya, everything I ate at Sonsie was great, the best. The porterhouses were cooked to perfection and every bite was worth any aggravation I had suffered wit my family that day. The food was so good, that I even ate my vegetables. These green beans that had some soy sauce or sumtin on em, it was by far the best way to eat em. At one point I had to call da waiters off and threaten them with a fork for da last one, I haven’t felt that way about beans in al long time. Service was solid besides dem crushing my wad and after awhile I could swallow da décor from a place whose website looks more like a gap commercial then a restaurant.

Much like an incident I once had wit da strip club, the waiter caught me with my pants down. He caught da fat man on da upsale and kudos to him. Either way it was an expensive night for me and this affinity for food and wine didn’t help. Bring a few extra bucks wit ya if you gotta provide for a village.

A casino has a parking garage. If you gota read about a garage, play tackle football with a bus. Notfornutin, sometimes I catch a quick nap in a garage. So if you see me passed out in my IROC, don’t honk or I will give five across the bow.

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