article

Mullets

This shit has got to stop! You guys with the hair short in the front and long in the back, I mean what the freag!? This style was cool for a hot minute in the heart of the 80’s but last time I checked my Samantha Fox calendar I am in the year…whatever. If you need to catch up on your hairstyles or you lived in a cave since 82’ do a little search on google, I ain't here to do your work. The bottom line here folks is that 15 minutes of the mullet is dead, they were retarded to begin with and they are liable to get you a beatin nowadays. Like what is goin through this guys head? Does he think he is some kind of minor league Fabio who is lookin to score with the chicks with the toss of your Barry Melrose. You gotta be freaking kiddin me, you may own an IROC but everyone knows that the wifebeater is the major compliment to that ensemble, not some trash honkey with a raccoon on his head. Nevertheless, my buddy Jimmy “the mullet” who snapped the pictures on my IROC page still rocks one. Sometimes, when I hit the hooch and the Sinatra extra hard I like to pull Jimmy aside and try to talk some sense of him. But by this time I get a little crazy tryin to light his Joe Dirt on fire by way of cologne and lighter. I like to call this trick my little Italian flamethrower, but that’s another story. Anyways, Jim lost a bet when I did ten Dewers on the rocks while he couldn’t even finish his second Keystone pitcher and he had to shave his mullet. Weeks later he was still upset, he said it just wasn’t the same when he rode his bike and knew his Pat Swayze wasn’t flowing in the wind like a small hair cape. All in all I think its better he is on the other side of the mullet line, cause now he can hang around with the fellas and I when we start our mullet persecutions.